Quiet, Gatherings, Dedication to Spiritual Paths, Chiggers

I got up this morning and saw off Tony and Sam for the first time in months. Tony went off to work a bit sad that our increasingly independent boy wanted to walk to the bus stop instead of ride with him. Our boy went off after giving hugs all around swaggering toward the bus stop, ready for a new school year. I shut the door and crawled back into bed. When I woke I read for about an hour listening to the quiet and enjoying the emptiness of the house. It has been in an uproar with a child here all day, strains of his imagination floating to my ears as I made some attempt at work.
Now it is quiet and my heart can't help but sigh contentedly.

I haven't posted since my return from the last gathering. I was, obviously, playing with a child or catching up on email or doing what work I could do while listening to the pirates in the next room be taken down by my hero boy who occasionally got stabbed. I could tell when this happened because there would be a, "Ohh, you think you can take me?" His recovery was amazing as the battle with restart with a vigor that it had begun to loss just before he was breached by a pirate. It is hard to apply your imagination when you realize the one in the next room has you unequivocally beat.

I wanted to thank those that wrote to me about HJ's death and about my big mouth. I found your comments uplifting. My melancholy has passed for the most part and I am finding my focus again. It hasn't hurt that I have spent time resting and going to bed early. I try to keep the TV off more and more which keeps my mind from buzzing with that white noise of life that can separate us from a spiritual existence.

The gathering was fabulous, as always. I went with Cam, Drostan, Ian, Yannu, Nite Tiger, Tree Bear, and Tony. We ended up camping directly across from the main ritual space which was fabulous too. It was HOT. We certainly had a hard time staying cool, although a dip in the lake helped. Tony was eaten up with chiggers to the point that he looked like he had broken out in chicken pocks. Cam, Tree Bear, Yannu and myself all suffered a small bit at the mouths of the chiggers; however, we all feel that we got off easy compared to Tony.

Tree Bear decided to dedicate this weekend. This came on the heels of a dream he had experienced about a month ago. Tree Bear decided that his dream meant that he was indeed a Neo-Pagan and wanted to mark this realization with a ritual. He, Tony and I prepared a ritual together. I helped him make a beautiful spirit box and we invited some friends to attend. I think that despite everyone's nervousness, the ritual went very well. Tree Bear certainly has a bit of a different demeanor now, a purpose seems to have sprung in him that was not there before. He seems to have found direction and courage where there was neither. I have been quite surprised by this affect. He got some cool gifts and cherished them all weekend. This week, I started teaching him divination at his request and he is learning with interest. Some days he is more interested than others. On the days he shows a smaller amount of interest, I just drop it.

I have been asked by a mother when you know that a child is ready to dedicate. I was taken aback as I view this woman as far more skilled than I am by virtue of her age and years of practice. I didn't know when Tree Bear was ready. He did. He told me. He told me he wanted a ritual and then it was my job to make sure he got what he needed without bringing harm to himself or others. He had the dream. He interpreted the dream.

I think what I did do was expose him to as many different paths as possible. I have consistently honed the idea that "all gods are one god; all goddesses are one goddess." I taught him that because of this belief the Judeo Christian God was indistinguishable from Currunous or Thor, that Mary and Bres were the same. I taught him what was different one religion to the next is the people who practiced those religions. I taught him that a spiritual path had nothing whatsoever to do with religion. Religion was human's creation to quantify, qualify and justify spiritual paths that appeared similar in nature and principle. I tried to impress upon him that what I hoped for him was a spiritual path that brought him strength, courage and peace to deal with the mundane world we were forced to live within.

"It is not how God is that we see," I have told him, "It is how we see God that makes God different to each of us." God and Goddess are uniquely individual experiences. We will see them as we see them and it when we begin to combine and join these different views that we can reveal some larger and more comprehensive picture of God. The Tower of Babel was not speaking of tongues, it was speaking of the ways in which human kind experiences God. They were putting together the pieces of what the essence of God truly is and because no mortal can experience this type of divine revelation, Deity struck them down and confused them sending them off with their singular versions of what God is.

This is precisely why I believe Family Spirituality is so important. Within the confines of a strong family unit the ability to reveal the depth of Deity, to understand and see more of Divinity that others have experience is great. There is already a solidarity of energy and experience that supports the effort of revealing God, Goddess. I am unclear how earth based practitioners have overlooked this for so long.

AGENTS AND OTHER STUFF

I haven't heard from the agents I hope to work with in the future. I am contemplating moving forward with or without them. I can hire a lawyer later if I need one (and I am confident I will). I have also found a list of magazines that I will be submitting articles to in order to build up my portfolio. Now in the silence I can focus; however, I am glad the bus gets home at 3:45. I am looking forward to it.

Starfest, Emerald Rose, Kathryn Hinds, Naked Pagans, Gossip, Sarah is in GA

Well, I am back from a very interesting gathering.

The gathering was fantastic as always. There was a great concert by Emerald Rose. Cam and I had fun dancing to our favorite song, Pagan Girl. We attended some great workshops about Stress Management, Metaphysic, Science and Paganism and beading. I had a really great time and enjoyed myself immensely. The main ritual was the bomb! We did a spiral dance and I really enjoyed sharing ritual with Tony, Ben and Becky. I can't wait to unwind again at that sacred place.

While at the gathering I ran into Kathryn Hinds who is an author who gave me all sorts of advice about publishing and some potential contacts to query. She is a great lady and author. I really appreciate her time and attention. Thanks Kathryn!

The other issue that came up during this gathering was skycladness. This gathering tends to attract very conservative people. The gathering itself is clothing option। However, I can count on one hand the number of times I have witnessed people topless or completely nude. Typically this is in the shower house, in the lake swimming or in the sweat lodge. (For the record, my son Connla was not with me this gathering and has not been in the past!). I ended up in a discussion about nakedness at gatherings and how I felt about it. My husband has been around naked pagans in the past usually around the drum circle or in sacred space. This weekend he ended up being asked to eat lunch with a beautiful naked women and it brought up some issues.

That got me to thinking...how much of pagans being naked is for shock value, power over others and attention getting and how much of being naked is for actual spiritual purposes? I am seriously struggling with this issue. On the one hand I completely agree that being naked is natural and a part of some peoples' spiritual path. They see being unclothed as a communion with Deity. On the other hand sometimes I met women and men who disrobe as a matter of shock value or an attempt to get attention or an attempt to have power over the opposite sex. It almost seems like they are saying, "Hey, look at me!!!"

I had hoped to discuss this issue at length and have my perspective heard। Unfortunately, I was disturbed by the violent reaction I got to the discussion. It is almost like if a pagan enjoys getting naked no one better even comment. I was actually told if you couldn't handled looking at naked bodies, then you weren't a pagan!

Tony likened it to smoking. He doesn't smoke and when he is in the presence of smokers he feels like he is forced to smoke. Tony happens to prefer to not see naked people when he is trying to be spiritual. It isn't a judgment on the activity just his personal preference. However, if he suggests this he is labeled a male chauvinist pig who isn't really a good pagan! Doesn't this smack of dogma? Where is the tolerance for other people's spiritual path and where is the compassion in helping others continue to shed the confines of this physical world to obtain spiritual enlightenment? It has made for some serious discussion and certainly caused me to pause and think things over. I am serious, could I please hear from you guys what your opinions are on this issue? Let's not shout and personally attack here, I am just seeking some information and other perspective.

On a completely different note, I ran into someone this gathering asking about gossip they had heard about Tony and I. Evidently Tony and I are accused of having a polyamorous relationship with a man and then dumping him to become monogamous - this is NOT true. Further I am accused of having energy that is anti-God or anti-male energy. This is also not true. I have always been a champion of the God having an equal place with the Goddess and have even done some very specific rituals meant to honor the God above the Goddess during the Sabbat celebrations. I have references if you want them. I have also been accused of prostilitizing. Again, this is not true. I feel I have started something that now has a board and life of its own. I am only someone who gives input into it. I do not think any of our members are trying to convert anyone to witchcraft. Further FWTI does not have a dogma of practice so there is no conversion necessary on that score.

The most disturbing gossip involved a man who was NOT and has NEVER been my High Priest claiming that he was. If you hear about this, please contact me to verify the validity of this claim. I will not tolerate someone taking credit for the work my High Priest did with me. I am no longer his student; however, all teachers deserve respect and no teacher deserves to have lies spread about the relationship they may or may not have had with their student. Do not believe the validity of any reported High Priests to myself or my husband without speaking with us please.

This entire weekend was about community. Dealing with those who have different perspectives. Learning to have compassion and tolerance and learning to leave room for others to spiritually evolve, even if they are doing it at a slower pace than others. It was about reputation and knowing that people are going to talk. The best we can hope for is to carry ourselves with as much dignity and respect as possible. We also have to have compassion and understanding for those who feel so isolated and lack a love of self that being angry and gossiping about others is the only thing they know to do. It was a long and enlightening weekend that ended with me going home to Sarah.

Sarah had moved from FL to GA and Tony and I went to help build furniture from kits, clean the house, unpack boxes, wrangle our Goddess Children and in general do whatever we could. I had to leave and tend my own Family Coven; however, I hope I left her better than when I had arrived. I am glad she is home.

Special shout out to my new Sister Witch Cam. You have become an unexpected reward to my personal spiritual journey. Much love and affection!

Family Coven Weekend, RockFest, MythBusters

This weekend finds me focusing on Family Coven. Last night, Tony worked very late. He is about to travel to Toronto on business and is having to leave his work here in order before he leaves early Monday morning. So I invited my good friend and Kindrite ( a person in The Kindred, Family Wiccan Community), Penne, to join Connla and I out at The Nineteenth Annual RockFest at the Wienman Mineral Museum here in Cartersville. The RockFest 'early showing' was something my family had tickets to because we are member of the museum. It turns out there wasn't much of an early showing, so we opted for Green Tea and sushi instead. Green Tea is the sushi restaurant I frequent. After that we went looking for Connla 'skater shoes.' We never found any; however, I bought a cool top, a white ritual dress and a black ritual dress for next to nothing. My birthday gift to myself!

Saturday, Tony, Connla and I went to the RockFest early to find some jet and amber. I found some large Jet beads, however, couldn't find any amber that I wanted. We bought rocks to take to a private Beltane ritual we had been invited to and in general looked at all the vendors there selling rocks and minerals.

Tony bought 10 arrow heads out of Jasper for the Cub Scouts. They are becoming Webeloes and Tony has an idea about making them something to help them track their progress to The Arrow of Light. Cub Scouts who get the Arrow of Light are kind of like Boy Scouts who get their Eagle Badge.

Connla got a bag of free rocks and other freebies and then bought some rose quartz dice and a bag to keep them in.

Connla and I took Tony home so he could work and then we went out and shopped. We bought Connla some new shoes and a Pokemon Video Game. We also bought some other odds and ends that we needed. Then we came home, made chili to take to the Beltane ritual and went to the Beltane ritual. It has been a long time since Connla has been in ritual with us and a bunch of other people. I think he did pretty well considering how bizarrely shy he gets around others.

Today, Sunday, has been about picking up the house, fixing the cars, working and watching MythBusters, which my son is obsessed with. Today Jamie had on a shirt that Connla has and he about had a fit. The shirt says, "I do all my own stunts."

It looks like we will finish up packing Tony for Toronto, have some dinner and continue to work on and off for the rest of the weekend. Tomorrow morning, we will take Tony to airport EARLY and be without him. I'll miss him. See my next post about the interesting 'mystical' things that have been happening to me around the RockFest.