Tony Crabtree, CoG & Cub Scouts

A lot has been happening around here. Most of which I will not be blogging about. Some changes, however, warrant a little information.

My husband, Tony Crabtree aka Lord Stone Dragonstone is the FREAKIN' BOMB! When I went to marry for the second time I really wanted a provider. I am not saying that I couldn't provide for myself and my son. I could. I am saying that what I am called to do doesn't necessarily make a lot of money. When reading Psychic Self-Defense by Dion Fortune, she related how you can spot a spiritual teacher. One of the things to look for was a person who was unemployed and provided for by another person. I thought she was crazy at the time; however, since I have come to see why she would say that.

Tony is my "other person." Recently, he made the decision to go out and find another job. There are mitigating circumstances which prompted him to start his search. That information falls under "not going to blog about." So he started making phone calls. He had three interviews Tuesday (Schedule to coincide with the Full Moon), two today and one next week. Over half of these interviews have come from people who heard he was looking to change his position and called him to schedule. I am so proud of the reputation my husband has in his industry. I really believe he is the best example I know of what a Husband Priest and Father Priest should be. People have come to respect who he is, what he stands for and what he does. His years of dedication to his industry has gotten him media recognition this year and I can tell his success is just beginning. I count myself bless by the God and Goddess that I get to partner with such an incredible human being.

While Tony is doing all of this, he continues to work for his current employer. He comes home and sees to Tree Bear and myself and then sneaks back into his office to get work done that his interviews interfered with. Some people would be doing just enough to get by, not my man. He is worried about leaving this company prepared to go forward without him, as much as he can.

Despite all this going on, he calls me every day on his commute home and wants an update about my day, what I did, what is going on with FWTI and our extended Dragonstone Family Coven. He asks about what issues are hot with the Board of Directors and if there are emails he should specifically look out for. He does all this with a commitment to loving care. He communicates with restraint and control and he loves me and Tree Bear unconditionally. He also volunteers with the Scouts as the Den Leader. Directing the energy of the Assistant Den Leaders, boys and parents. His ideas will change the program this year. He does all this and the dinner dishes too.

I often joke with people and say, "Didn't you know? Tony walks on water!" Truth is, my life without this man would be something all together different. If I were to ever point to a "Savior," I would point to the body of his Priest, Stone Dragonstone. I just thought I would praise him publicly.

Speaking of Scouting, I have been working with Tree Bear on his Religious Emblem award. The Covenant of the Goddess has created and maintains the Over the Moon, the Heart and Crescent and the Distinguished Youth Services awards. They have saved me a lot of time and trouble and I found them just after Tree Bear dedicated to the path
of Earth Based Practice. I am very grateful. The cool thing is these awards can be given to any child who fulfills the requirements. The
are great for Family Covens, traditional groups of covens, Spiral Scouts or even as a program at a festival. Check it out!

I have spent the last week knee deep in Cub Scouting. Tree Bear is a Webelos this year and the requirements and program is significantly increased. However, I am really excited about this year. We have a new Cub Master who has planned some previously un-taken trips for the boys. He even got the Mayor to visit my den to help us meet a requirement. I have arranged to have a police officer visit, started to arrange a meeting where a ham radio club comes and shows the boys that hobby, and written the next two months of meeting agendas. With the help of our other Assistant Den Leader, I think we are going to be the best Den ever! I love scouting.

Now that scouting is done, I can refocus on other neglected things. I had a disturbing thing happen a while back and I have taken time to bury myself in Scouting as a way to get perspective. I don't know that I have perspective yet. However, I know that I feel better in general about things. Time will tell, as it always does. At the very least, however, you guys should finally get replies to your emails.

This was written in response to the question: What is abuse?

Abuse is in some ways relative. Relative to the social environment someone lives in, to a person’s beliefs and perceptions and is affected by frequency and emotional damage done to others. Abusive is also relative to permission or allowance.

Social Environment:
Westerners would consider the ways that men or women are treated in some places abuse. Just like the White Man saw the American Indians as savages upon meeting them because they didn’t wear “proper clothing.” In Muslim countries women are required to present themselves modestly, covering their head, hair and bodies to varying degrees. I am sure that many women here would see that at the least as unnecessary and at most abusive and stifling of those woman. However, would they see it that way? Sure some do and choose to leave if they can. However, others stay and continue to exist in these situations. So should the Muslim way of life be perceived as abusive?

Person’s Beliefs and Perceptions
Well, it would depend on the beliefs and perceptions of the people involved wouldn’t? Some Muslim women do not mind, others are forward thinking feminist Muslims and others leave, feeling emotionally and mentally abused.

Allowance & Permission
Those women who willingly believe God ordains this treatment are not going to see their situation as abusive. They have given their hearts and spirit over and by doing so given permission for some of the treatment they receive.

Frequency, Emotional-Phyiscal-Mental Damage Done to Others
Despite that, even those women would see being physically beaten as abuse. Forced sexual intercourse in many Muslims countries is punishable by death; I think AJ pointed that out a while back. AJ also pointed out that despite this, those laws were rarely used because of the social perception of women in those countries.

Already we can begin to see how complex this issue can be.

In the West, these issues get easier and harder to define. In our well-kept lives of computers, televisions, radios, food, shelter and opportunity, abuse becomes something that happens in stark contrast to the surroundings in which it occurs. When a beating occurs, those who observe say: Why? Doesn’t he have food? Doesn’t she have shelter? Doesn’t he have a job? Why is this necessary? What stress is it that causes this behavior? So we see abuse and easily define it as such in contrast to the social environment we live in, making abuse easier to identify,

However, abuse here is also harder to define. Knowing that beatings, rapes and other forms of overt abuse are not socially acceptable, we have found new ways to abuse each other that hide under a banner of acceptance. I once had a lover who told me, “Jeez, there just words, Dia, lighten up.”

In anger, he had told me to get out of bed and sleep with the dogs, in their bed. Unsure of what to do, I went and slept on the couch. My lover was never a violent man and he didn’t stop me. Later when I broke up with him and sited that moment as the beginning of the end, he told me he hadn’t really “meant” it and I was “over reacting.”

So who is right here? Was he abusive? Not from his perspective, his perception.

I think a good definition, therefore is this: Abuse is an action perpetrated through physical acts and verbal communication that brings harm to another being.

That said, it doesn’t mean that every abuser is going to see their words or actions as abusive. There are plenty who are going to put off the results of their behavior on others. It also means that some people are more sensitive than others and will perceive abuse in places others won’t.

So what is the solution?
Well, the physical laws of a government help us define abuse to some extent. I also believe there are some forms of abuse that should be obvious (rape, child molestation, physical beatings, unrelenting verbal abuse and/or explosive abuse that is less frequent and significantly more violent). By speaking out against these things, we raise awareness and through peer pressure decreasing the likelihood that they will occur by increasing the public shame associated with these acts. We also speak out to encourage law enforcement to continue to arrest and punish perpetrators and do things to help victims find shelter and safety.

Outside of this, you, personally, must set your boundaries. You must determine, for yourself and your family, what behavior is abusive. Then you must decide how to confront that behavior and deal with those who perpetrate it.

After you have set and learned to tend your personal boundaries, you should learn to communicate. I recommend a book called Fierce Conversation by Susan Scott. This book talks about-facing difficult problems and people in such a way that solutions are created versus drama. However, Scott makes it clear that this is only possible by really knowing and understanding yourself and what motivates you. I read this book about once a year doing all the exercises. It will help you consider your boundaries and practice a form of communication that will get you heard.

Passion without self-control is a fire that destroys and maims. Controlled burns rejuvenate lands and hearts and minds leaving room for growth and life. Maybe it is the Southern in me that has learned to find ways to communicate where the message is plain and the delivery is as gentle and firm, like a good ladder back chair in my grandmother’s kitchen. When you learn to walk in this way, you will never be accused of being abusive. Of course, you might get accused of being a fluffy bunny or of being “soft” or “peace loving.”

I challenge anyone to live a life of self-control where you practice bringing a point to bear with the discipline and precision of a surgeon’s knife versus the broad stroke of a battle-axe. Surgeons heal. Axes kill, maim and bread hate. Haven’t centuries of war taught us this much? Anyone can wield a battle-axe and bring damage and harm. Not m

Politics & Witch Wars, Growth

This past week has been one of revelations, new friendships, trials and exposure. Lots of people who have never heard of FWTI or myself, personally, have stumbled across my blog, read my entries and gotten to know me back list away from the din of political wrangling.

However, all of this new, intense attention caused a Dragonstone Family Coven member to point out that none of these new eyes actually know me. It was suggested the time might be ripe for an introduction.

First thing you should know is I hate politics and witch wars. I have never seen any good come out of either. That being said, I am politically active. Last Presidential election, my son and I drove voters to the polls all day. I held signs espousing my various opinions. In fact, I have held a lot of signs at rallies and taken a lot of stances on various issues of one kind or another.

Obviously, I do not shy away from an opinion just because it might be controversial. My mother tells people I was born with soap boxes on my feet as a point of explanation.

However, I do hate politics and witch wars because the din they cause is confusion. The issues get reduced into who is cool or right at the moment and who is the nerd or wrong at the moment. It becomes about people personally, not the actions that they do. It is the action after all that tends to be harmful. I hate politics because it reminds me of high school and college. It was never about an issue that mattered just about the specific kind of nastiness humans can create when they are ruled by judgment of others. Here I am well over thirty years old and still the old nastiness survives.

Currently there is a knock down drag out witch war occurring between AJ Drew and The Frosts. It has degenerated into name calling, back stabbing and basically the best damn soap opera going. It certainly has kept lots of people glued to their computer screens reading the latest blogs and gleefully snickering at the cheap shots and insinuations being flung about like monkey poo. While we watch the poo fly, once again the focus is being detracted from the victims and innocent, the real issues are abandoned.

I abhor child molesters, rapists and abusers of all kinds. I have a degree in psychology and have spent hundreds of hours of my life with battered women and adult survivors of incest. My hatred of people teaching others how to become a pedophile or justify any form of pedophilia far out dates the past few weeks. My manuscripts first chapter gives specific examples I have personally had within the Neo-Pagan community regarding sexual misconduct disguising itself as Earth Based Spirituality. My disgust is generated by the physical, emotional and mental destruction these acts cause.

If you want to know what makes this a hot button issue, go and sit with a woman whose parent infected her with HIV or who was forced to face abortion issues because of her pregnancy by her father. Sit with adult children who struggle with parenting today because of the mental, physical or emotional abuse they endured at the hands of their own family. The statistics tell me that if you were to choose to sit with someone who had had these experiences one out of five of the women and one out of seven or eight of the men would be sitting alone, contemplating their own pain, their own private horrors typically unseen by others and never spoken of.

What makes this even more horrifying is that we are talking about ritualistic abuse. Abuse conceived, planned and purposefully carried out in the name of Goddess and God. In the name of Gaia, our mother, in the name of Great Spirit, our Sky Father, in the names of Isis, Adonis, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna, Morrigan, Cerridwen, Freya, Shakty, Hauthor, Rhiannon, Raya, Mach, in the names of these blessed and Holy Goddesses, young girls are laid down, molested, given over to intercourse by adults who have been charged with their psychological and physical development and well being.

I believe there are few who read this that are not mortified by that. I don't think that many who have disassociated themselves from AJ Drew would believe that this behavior is right, good or healthy. It is hard, though, to focus on these smallest victims when insults are being hurled left and right. It is hard to take a stance when there is a feeling of a Witch Hunt atmosphere in the air.

I understand. The real issue can quickly get lost in the din of political maneuvering.

However - don't throw out this issue! Look at your own children and think about the root issues at work here. You know adults who have been pressured to have sex for "spiritual" reasons. One of the women I most admired was raped as her first degree initiation, a scar that she has spent years recovering from. She was an adult when this occurred, not some small child whose social and psychological development is on going. I am not foolish enough to think she is some unusual occurrence.

We have an opportunity to grow beyond ourselves. To raise above the poo flinging and into a higher level of consciousness and behavior. We can say: Of course we despise pedophiles and any publication that gives written instructions on how to carry out such acts. AND while that is true, it is also true that name calling, belittling and bullying have never actually won any fights worth fighting. Think carefully about how people like Jim Jones and Charles Mansion won over converts. Think about how when you isolate people you make them vulnerable to the very predators you are trying to keep them from.

I do not believe a rejection of one group of poor behaviors is an acceptance of another group of poor behaviors.

Dia is her own Man er Woman er Priestess,
FWTI is Run By a Board of Directors


My name is Lydia M. Crabtree. My craft name is Lady Adialawyddan Dragonstone. However, if you call me Lady outside of circle I am likely to laugh at you. (Except for Sharon who has called me Lady all my life. It's a Southern thing.) Nobody calls me Lydia or Adialawyddan (good luck pronouncing that). Everyone calls me Dia, just, Dia.

I am my own person. I have never had opinions that I blindly accepted from others. I am sure there are past teachers who could vouch for my unwillingness to just agree. Some of the greatest and most important spiritual discoveries I have personally made have come when I was walking down roads where others dare not tread. They have come when I was willing to explore opinions and beliefs that others would glimpse briefly at and dismiss. This is me. I will not stop doing this. However, no one should ever mistake an agreement I may have with someone with an absolute espousal to every belief professed by a person or group.

Case in point, my son is a Cub Scout. I think Scouting is one of the greatest organizations for making young boys into men. Cub Scouting doesn't recognize Wicca as a religion. Further, Scouts have a stance regarding homosexuality that I do not agree with. However, I continue to participate and financially support Scouting. My son has gained so much and by my participating I demonstrate the strength of my own religion. This is a lesson in diplomacy.

We all hold a small portion of the truth. Some of us are holding a smaller portion than others. Sometimes the portion of truth we may have is overshadowed by a lack of emotional discipline or the acts of pure harm we cause. However, that doesn't negate the small truth they may have gained.

So if you THINK you know what I really believe, think or espouse, perhaps you should email me and find out. Chances are what you think you know is only a small fraction of reality. I would assert this is probably true for most people.

I am the co-founder of Family Wiccan Traditions International. However, my opinions are my own. The Board of Directors run FWTI. They do so by vote. One vote for one Board position. There are currently nearly 8 persons outside of myself who vote.

What I write, what I think, what I do is not an endorsement by Family Wiccan Traditions International. I am a woman who had an idea that has been taken over by others and is now being tended by all of us.


FWTI was founded on some simple premises.


Each Family Coven is different and their beliefs and ideas will be different. FWTI is an organization that doesn't penalize people for differences. FWTI views the various family traditions out there as a source of strength that will permit earth based spirituality to grow and develop in ways that have only been dreamed of until now.

FWTI does not believe in the need for intercession. No coven, grove, group, person or association is necessary for a Family Coven to find and cultivate their own spirituality. In fact, FWTI believes that parents SHOULD NEVER give up the spiritual leadership of their own Family Coven to anyone but the God and Goddess. FWTI has been teaching these type of ideas since 2001 when the website first went live. It was a response to the experience of myself, my husband and many others to traditional craft.

FWTI believes that families should put their Family Coven first. The outside community will wait, what is important is the family you live with, ever how family is defined.

FWTI believes the role of community is practical support. Food when people are sick or there is a death or birth. Babysitting services for a single mom who needs some time alone or for the new parents who haven't slept in three months. Energy for healing, manifestation of the Family Coven's needs and for thanksgiving of all the Family Coven has already been blessed with. Community is for fellowship - NOT dictatorship. Community shouldn't be about laying out some specific dogma of practice. Community should be about learning and growing from one another. This is best accomplished by experiencing the differences that reveal the different truths each Family Coven possesses.

When these truths are brought together the understanding we are capable of having grows exponentially.

And - this is just my opinion. What FWTI was founded on and how it has changed and developed are two different things. You could always ask the other Board members what they think FWTI is about. I know they each have their own opinion.

Damn Ants


Those who know me and have followed my blogs know that ants have haunted me since a Vision Quest way back in 1999. During the preparations of the Vision Quest and after the actual three day Quest, the ants ate me alive. They found me walking, sitting, in the sweat lodge. They were everywhere.

At the time the Quest leader told me I had "issues" with community that were "unresolved." This insight was not really remarkable. I have been weird pagan since the day I took the title. Time and age have seem to make my condition terminal.

A few months ago when I was in the midst of sending off query letters and preparing my book proposal for review, I had a serious invasion of ants into my home. Those, again who know me, will tell you I am a bit of a neat freak and after that initial invasion I took some pretty serious steps to avoid throwing out an entire container of cat food because of ants again.

Members of FWTI and my friends began to encourage me to look into the Ants-Dia connection and try to decipher what I was being told by spirit. I blew them all off. The very nice apartments we live in had been having lots of invasions and I knew that I was not the only unit in my building having problems. Surely this was not a lesson, other than insects once again reminding me how insignificant humans are in comparison to their complete dominance. I also took a small hiatus to deal with some traveling I was going to do and prepare my son for school.

A few weeks ago my son came in to tell me my heather and ivy pots by the front porch had been invaded. He wondered what I was going to do about. I told him I would speak to the ant guy when he came again and have him bait the pots to kill them from within. This time, my own spirit quietly asked if I knew what was up with the damn ants and I dimissed it telling my spiritual being that it meant that ants were particularly bad this year in Georgia.

Today, I was inspired by AJ Drew. He said things I have only wished I could have said. He called names and he stood up and took a stand. I was awestruck. I was goaded, finally, into unashamed action. I quickly did what I could to support the bold jesters made by AJ Drew writing a blog of my own and spending the majority of my day writing letters and making proposals to my own communities about Drew's Blog.

My son came home from school and started his afternoon ritual of MythBusters and snacking while I finished up what I was doing before 5 PM, homework time. Suddenly, Tree Bear gave a shout and I ran into my pantry to find a second invasion that far outstripped the first. Mind you, this invasion had to of occurred between this morning when I prepped my family for school and work and 4:30 PM, roughly nine hours. In that time, the ants had invaded my spices, my cereal, attached themselves to the outside of the syrup and honey jars and attempted to make entry into the various containers sealed against their onslaught. Luckily, the cat food was spared.

The ants marched from one corner of the pantry up the wall, around the ceiling and descended in small rivers to attack various locations of nutrients. Grabbing the can of ant spray, my son ran from the room screaming, "Their DOOMED!" and I began to madly spray, moving boxes and obstacles out of my way trying to find the source of this onslaught. As I did, I realized what they meant.

At first I was angry at the Lady and Lord. Were they telling me they gave me this big mouth and didn't want me to use it? They saw to my education and spent the past four years guiding and leading me so that when the time came I would not speak? Then it occurred to me.

The words of AJ Drew were like honey or sugar water to me. He had spoken them, crafted them and exposed them to the world and I had swarmed onto them like the ants had the syrup jar. In turn, I had boiled my own sugar water, purifying and editing my convictions and sent them out to the invisible communication lines on the world wide web. AJ Drew was a scout sending out the sent of conviction and universal truth, I had picked up on it and done the same.

As I sprayed I realized that the ants, no matter how often they invaded and I beat them back, would return. In fact, they were in a way like truth, pesky and undeterred. Further ants spurred action. You could not see thousands of ants invading your home and do nothing, action was required. And even after you had finished your eradication, the ants caused you to smack and scratch yourself worried that one or two had escaped your wrath to exact some kind of small biting revenge.

Ants were then, my call to action. They were saying, "Don't delay - do something - NOW!" It wasn't some scolding of the gods that caused them to invade it was Spirit's way of asking me to act, to speak, to do.

I will send off my proposal by the end of the week. I get the message. I will act. I will speak. I will do.

There is one other lesson. The lesson of what sheer numbers have the power to do. You cannot help but stand in awe, inactive for a period of time as you realize just how many ants have descended upon your pantry. The Neo-Pagan Community could take a lesson for this. If we as a group make a unified movement, support AJ Drew for example, there is little that will ever permanently stem the tide of change. There isn't a psychic ant spray strong enough.

Maybe now they will stop invading?

Gender Roles Article, Abuse Masking as Spirituality

I started this morning writing about gender roles that was prompted by a FWTI member sending me the link to an article by Rose French of the Associated Press. French wrote an article entitled: New Seminary Subject: Homemaking. In this article French discusses the new seminary track for women that teaches them how to be good wives. I pressed this news worthy event into an article that discusses gender roles and how we got to these radical extremes.

As I wrote I remembered a website that was discussed at dinner at the Harriett Austin Writers' Conference. I looked up the website for Christian Domestic Discipline and found to my horror that it was not some joke. CDD is a real theology that uses the Bible to justify the spanking of grown women who have been bad. Their husbands decide what they have done that is wrong and the number of licks, either with a hand or a belt, they deserved. I read the site in my research and the blog of some of the women who practice this type of Christianity. I was physically ill. (I have struggled with linking to the site and have decided not to. If you want to verify what I have said, I encourage you to Google it. I couldn't bring myself to provide a link to their twisting of Christian doctrine.

I am continuing the write the article about Gender Roles and feel I have found some measure of commonality in AJ Drew. I am taking a break today however to draw attention to Drew's fight and lend my whole hearted support.

Ritual Abuse is Wrong.
It doesn't matter where it is instigated from.

Introduction: This blog is in response to a blog written by AJ Drew. The blog just below this one is a brief account about how I came across this blog originally. The next blog down is AJ Drew's original blog entry. The blog after that is the response given by Gavine and Yvonne Frost. Please feel free to repost this blog entry. Please include the short bio at the end of this blog and the links it provides.

I admit it. I am part of the problem. My name is Lydia "Dia" Crabtree and I am a pagan pacifist.

It is true, I recycle everything I can. I Bring My Bag to every grocery store and chide anyone who will listen about the obscenity of using plastic or paper bags that destroy our Mother. Of course, the little voice in my head says, "Tree Bear is why you finally started doing it. It is his continue vigilance that keeps you green." Tree Bear is ten. Who wants to look inactive to a ten-year-old? It is also true that I am a full time minister without a paycheck and have dedicated my life to FWTI. I am also a full time mother tending to my son and my Husband Priest. I vote. I founded the 1st Women In Black chapter in Chattanooga, TN. I tell stories to children to educate them about the Mississippi Mud People the white man destroyed leaving only their Mayan like mounds as a testament to their existence.

I am still a pagan pacifist. I have kept silent about the important things. It is easy to recycle for the most part. It gives you a sense of importance and the right to be a little condescending to the rest of the world. I suppose being a minister is some how noble; however, the financial strains I place upon my family by not taking a "real job" weigh upon me everyday. I tend my Family Coven and, in truth, they tend me, more than most would believe. I have founded chapters of important movements basking in the reflected glory of those who had already done the hard work. I have told stories and held my tongue when it came to the morals they really teach us about dominance and conversion.

I have done a small fraction of what I could do.

There are things that are wrong.

You know it. You can feel it. Don't deny this! Over time you can desensitize yourself into believing anything is right; however, it doesn't justify the wrongness of the act. Wicca has made a fine art of desensitization. First, something reasonable, however, outside the accepted norms of society is proposed: Sex is not bad. Sex is good and sacred. This deviation is needed to further the social evolution of our society. Then the idea that sex is good evolves into the idea that having sex with lots of people is better. This idea is more a personal choice. In the Craft we value our personal choices and quickly agree to not discuss the promiscuity in our religion. After all how many partners you take is a choice you make.

Then overtime, if having many partners is ok doing other sexual things that society deems inappropriate is ok too. Suddenly, many neo-pagans find themselves in triple X situations that have some how been justified by their spiritual path. I am reminded of the ritual I once read on line where the "Priestess" gives oral sex to the Eastern Guardian who climaxes and says, "Blessed be." Then she moves on to the Sothern Guardian and does the same. If you were to ask the creator of this ritual, as I did, why this is an appropriate ritual and what occasion it is to celebrate other than the erotic pleasure of the participants, you are likely to hear what I have: silence. There was no answer because no thought had been given to the question. It is this erosion of clear value and deliberate action that leads to children suffering ritual abuse at the hands of their caregivers. This lack of thought slowly erodes the participants sense of wrong.

Are the activities they are engaged wrong? Do they loose sight of the value of children because they have chosen to do these things outside of general accepted spirituality?

Most certainly not!

It is because they have not given much thought to their behavior and what motivates that behavior in the first place.

They do not know what they really believe or why.

This leaves room for people to move in and warp what could be good, holy and sacred. They justify their views with anthropology, use big words and carry themselves with an air of confidence and knowledge. They display in short all the signs of any good cult leader. They depend on their audience being undereducated and most importantly unsure of themselves. Just like any predator they hope that their justification will muddle their victims minds and make it easier to take advantage.

It has been working quite nicely.

Most of these leaders show the tale tell signs of cult leadership. Instead of standing on the facts, they wind a response that is well written and obscure. No one can really be sure of what they mean. They are as slippery as a wet fish out of water and they thrash about splashing condemnation on any who would try to hook them. They work on common fears of parents. Suggesting good parents want the best for the children and only good parents want their children's first sexual experience to be positive. Then they finish up with the solution that they and they alone have discovered the best way to introduce children to sex.

I have heard this argument before. Given by a registered and convicted sex offender about why he was soliciting sex from a twelve-year-old witch. He wanted her first experience to be spiritual and sacred, he told the parents when his plan had been thwarted by the girl's sister and family. Surely, they wanted it to be good for her too? It makes me sick. Using the Goddess religion as an excuse to violate a burgeoning Goddess. The child was traumatized, forced to lie to her parents, lost weight and contemplated suicide. Explain to me how this sexual predators manipulation of her was sacred, holy or right?

If a parent can get a hold of real love for their children, then logic and psychology can help them defend against the other Frost arguments. Basic psychology teaches us that children are developed from two types of influence: Nature and Nurture. Nature is a reflection of the physical things past on to children in DNA. I would argue that some of these inherited things are spiritual in nature. I am a seer because I was born in a line of seers. My son is a seer because he is of my womb.

Nurture is the type of influence exerted upon children by the physical surroundings. Their attitudes, opinions and beliefs are shaped by the exposure they receive to the society they are raised in. This nurture includes the immediate family's beliefs and it also includes society's influence upon the child, what they pick up from television, public or private schools, radio, the internet, people they meet in the neighborhood, clubs and organizations.

I would even go so far to say that in Paganism there is a third influence. I call it Spiritual Remembering: the influence of our past lives upon our present situations. It is possible that our child might have lived in some culture where adolescent sexual initiation occurred. Depending upon the affect in that lifetime upon that child, it may have a positive or negative influence upon them today.

That said, we do not live thousands of years ago! We live in 2007. In this time, magical parents have a duty to balance these three influences: Nature, Nurture and Spiritual Remembering. I do not believe that it is psychologically sound in 2007 to perform adolescent or pre-adolescent sexual initiations. This does not take into account the emotional, social or spiritual maturity of a child. Further it completely disregards that child's interaction with the outside world. Our children do not live in a vacuum. After hundreds of years of evolution both physical and social, our collective consciousness has come to the conclusion that children should stay children as long as possible. Healthy adults have been born out of stable, safe environments where exploration that is natural leads to discovery. There is nothing wrong with learning about the physical act of sex as a teenager with your first infatuation. In this day and age, it is the most healthy way of discovery.

This is not to say that sexual education is not important. My son's questions about sex have been answered honestly and frankly whenever they occur. He has already been taught about when it is appropriate to hold hands or kiss. I have already talked with him about "No means No." He has had talks with me in the car, at dinner and other places about sex, contraception and the emotional experience of love making. He is ten.

The talks haven't been graphic. They haven't been forced. They have just occurred in the natural course of raising a child. I have been bold and I have not flinched from being a mother who encourages her son that sex is natural and wonderful. He wants to run around naked in the house, I do not stop him unless company is coming. His body is beautiful. His penis is a gift from the God. He is coming into manhood and my husband and I have been his willing guardians as he has developed.

You don't need sexual initiation to ensure that your children's first sexual experience is good, healthy and benefits their emotional and spiritual development. You do not need to give up parenting of your child to some Coven to ensure their safety and spiritual development.

What you need, is a clear sense of what you believe, an open heart and an open mouth. Having these things is not just for the benefit of your child. It is for the benefit of your spiritual well being. The warnings in your heart should be enough to steer clear of the heresy taught by predators.

Lydia "Dia" Crabtree has a Bachelors of Science Degree in Psychology as well as concentrations in Journalism and Theatre from North Georgia College and State University. Further, Crabtree has extensive training and experience with battered women and survivors of incest. She has spent the past four years researching earth based spirituality from a Family Coven's perspective. She is the co-founder of Family Wiccan Traditions International and a moderator on Family Wiccan Community. She is actively writing her first book: Family Coven: Birthing Hereditary Witchcraft.