So last night instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour I stayed up until 2:30 PM just sitting. I am reading Eckhart Tolle A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose and he was discussing families. Up until this section I was completely down with what he had to say; however, his words just cut deep and I was left drinking ½ glass of milk and eating two strawberry poptarts while sitting on the couch doing nothing.
Having identified as the victim of domestic abuse for so long, the idea that I should let those thought forms simple go and no long accept that who and what I am is dictated by my past is pretty radical. The third degree is to Be and I have been obsessed by this idea of BEING for many years now. Tolle's book is all about Being. It tells you how to recognize when you are not being and tells you how to let go of those times and become more present, more "be."
I know this book will require a second read and I also know that not everyone would read this book and understand; however, as a research book for what I am writing on I find it most helpful. He utilizes mostly Christian and Zen Buddhist examples; however, the fact that I was raised Christian has really helped me. It is a reference point that I can easily adapt to.
Between my study of the Laws of Attraction and the Tolle my world view is shifting, and you take into account the physical changes I am trying to put into place and you have and interesting situation in my life. It is definitely a journey and it feels good to feel that I am on one again.
It doesn't help that I have contracted the virus that has had my husband down in the bed for three days. I am shooting DayQuil and think NiteQuil is on my menu for tonight.
To know – Your Ego
To Do – Clear Your Ego
To Will – Command Your Ego
To Be – Release Your Ego
(Lydia M. Crabtree, 2008)
I have put some of the insights that have struck me below.
I have this fear of failure. I know what to do and when to do it and yet I fear doing it. I fear success. My old thought patterns are still very ingrained. I focus on them. I examine them. The idea that my problem is "letting go" hadn't really occurred to me. Here I am thought, with the need to "let go."
No thing ever had (has) anything to do with who they (I) are (am).
The ego tends to equate having with Being. I have, therefore, I am.
The ego's sense of self-worth is in most cases bound up with the worth you have in the eyes of others.
I am awareness that is aware that there is an attachment.
I don't have enough yet translates to I AM NOT enough yet.
I think therefore I am is the root of ego.
The consciousness that say, "I am" is no that consciousness that thinks."
I am – not what my consciousness has settled for.
If the shutters are closed, sunlight cannot come in.
Be still and know that you are.
Ego lives on identification and separation.
When you confuse the ego that you perceive in others with their identity, it is the work of your own ego that uses this misperception to strengthen itself through being right and therefore superior and through reacting with condemnation, indignation and often anger against the perceived enemy. Pg 73
The particular egoic patterns that you react to most strongly in others and misperceive as their identity tend to be the same patterns that are also in you, but that you are unable or unwilling to detect within yourself. In that sense, you have much to learn from you enemies. What is it in them that you find most upsetting, most disturbing? Their selfishness? Their greed? Their need for power and control? Their insincerity, dishonesty, propensity to violence, or whatever it may be? Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you. But it is no more than a form of ego, and as such, it is completely impersonal. It has nothing to do with who that person is, nor has it anything to do with who you are. Only if you mistake it for who you are can observing it within you be threatening to your sense of self. Pg 74
Whatever you fight you strengthen and what you resist persists. Pg 75
The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Pg 96
See the link between what you are thinking and your emotions.
What to you is a mistake may be exactly what your children need to do or experience.
Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of ego.
One with Life. Being one with life is being one with Now.
Before you were the thoughts, emotions and reactions; now you are the awareness, the conscious Presence that witnesses those states.
Your entire personal history, which is ultimately no more than a story, a bundle of thoughts and emotions, becomes of secondary importance and no longer occupies the forefront of your consciousness.
The stronger the ego in you, the more likely it is that in your perception other people are the main source of problems in your life. Pg 119
The collective ego of tribes, nations, and religious organizations also frequently contains a strong element of paranoia: us against the evil others. It is the cause of much human suffering. Pg 120
The Zen they say: "Don't seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions." What does that mean? Let go of identification with your mind. Who you are beyond the mind then emerges by itself. Pg 121
Everything italicized comes from Tolle's Work. My own quote is un- italicized.
